The time had come to take down the crib and store away all of the baby stuff we accumulated. It was so hard for us. It is the reality of Noah never being able to sleep in his room we so lovingly prepared for him. We had so many items in there that are so special to us, hand-picked from many people who wanted to give Noah something from the heart. I knew it would be hard to pack everything away, not only because we had to acknowledge Noah would never be there to sleep in his crib or stare at his toys, or listen to me red his books to me, but also killed a little bit of hope in us. The hope that someday it would get use as a baby’s room. That we would someday get to be the parents we so want to be.
We are currently going to use the room as a “zen” room. Where Sharon can practice massage therapy for select clients. We are going to make it a peaceful room, perfect for getting away and reflecting on life. The room always had a soothing and calming nature to it, but even more so since it was Noah’s room at one time. It is weird, it never had a sad feel to it, or one of loss, but always had an uplifting aura to it.
So we have now taken a big step towards moving forward. There is still a wall which will always be Noah’s wall. We have many of his things on it. We will never let him out of lives, he is forever entwined with our souls. I just hope he gets to have a little brother or sister to look over.