We make a point to celebrate our little boy Noah’s birthday every year. It is a very hard day for us yet very special and one we look forward to. Sometimes it does not make sense to call it his birthday as he was never born that day. While Sharon did deliver him physically, his spirit had already passed on. He never took a breath.

A ritual we do as a family is got to the same place on the beach and release balloons up to him with Happy Birthday wishes on them. And not to let Nora out we let her send up a pink balloon. The day was hot but very sunny. We set off the balloons and them went to hang out with a few friends and take a dip in the Gulf. Which has been cleared off safety concerns for the most part but we still we only stayed in for a small time just to get cool.

As you may know from reading my books or this blog some very special things happened following his birth 2 years ago, and have continued, that let us know he will always be with us.

It is on this day alone that I wear the shirt I wore at the hospital when we lost him. That shirt is sacred to me. After I wear it, it gets washed and placed back into my drawer until the next year. I hope that when I wear it, it serves as a beacon to him, to signal to him that this is his day and his day alone. To possibly even help him get the energy to connect with us somehow.

So going into his birthday this year we were hoping he would do something once again. The last two years I have placed a dollar bill on a local restaurant’s wall with his name on it to honor him. And each time the Irish Unicorn Song about Noah’s Ark played on the loudspeaker, as if to let us know he appreciated the gesture and was with us. We wondered if he would do it again, but I did not want to get my hopes up.

So at the end of our meal and after toasting to his memory I prepared the dollar bill to be hung. I found a place on the other end of the restaurant from the bill from last year which was still visibly hanging. Just as I pushed the first staple into the bill to attach it. The song began playing, almost as if on que. I welled up. I had not gotten emotional most of the day until this moment. I almost could not believe what I was hearing. I felt like was transported to somewhere else. It did not seem real. Like my mind really could not process that it was happening again! All the sorrow and love I felt on that day 2 years ago came flooding back. But the overwhelming comfort of the feeling that he is still with us in spirit is a feeling that there are no words to describe.

So with that all said, I want to tell Noah “We love you and we will always carry you in our hearts. I hope wherever you are, you know that you are not alone and mommy and daddy will never forget how special of a soul you are!”

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Tags: book, brewpub, noah, nora, restaurant, rv, sharon, shoe